Dance of Life

We should think of marriage as a dance. In this dance both the man and the woman are equal. God, the choreographer, teaches and coaches both dancers so they can show off their own specific qualities. The dance is not about who leads or takes each step, it's about the overall performance. Both dancers want to do well at their role so they come to the choreographer with questions on how they can make their individual parts better so they can , ultimately, make their partner look better. In the end, both dancers have perfected their routine and are able to perform their dance flawlessly.

Love and Lasting Relationships

In today's culture, love means so many different things. One can express love in an intimate way for his spouse in one breath and in another say how he loves football or a cup of coffee. Returning to the original Hebrew translation of love we see that there are three different types of love: eros, philos, and agape. Eros love is erotic love. This is the type of love a man would express to his wife. In Proverbs 5 it is said to be like fire and passion. Within a committed relationship, this is the typical type of love. However, if eros love is shown in other circumstances, that “fire” might crawl out of the fireplace and burn down the entire house! The second type of love is philos love. This type of love is the one that would be expressed about football or coffee. Philos love is a love of companionship and fellowship. An English word that comes from this type of love is Philadelphia-- the city of Brotherly Love. Lastly, Agape love is a selfless, unconditional, one-sided love. In agape love, a person loves with the purpose to simply help the other person without expecting anything in return. One person gives what the other needs the most when they diverse it the least. Agape love enriches and encourages both eras and philos loves. The type of love expressed in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 is what agape love consists of: patience, supernaturalness, kindness, etc. Eros, Philos, and Agape loves are what make up the common “love” that is referred to daily in present day culture.

When someone finds another person of the other sex whom they care deeply about, sometimes it is unclear whether they are in love or just infatuated. The verdict is simple to determine. Love takes time to figure out how how it feels for the other person before making its move while Infatuation explodes out of no where and has to make itself known immediately. Love cares about the other person's feelings and shares its feelings. Infatuation only cares about itself and how it looks. Love devotes all of it's time to one person and can not make room for others. In contrast, Infatuation can care about two or more people at a time without any problem. It is simple to determine whether love is true or simply just infatuation.

The views of love from the perspectives of Hollywood and Christ are extremely different. There are four steps to ensure a lasting relationship. Following God's commands are the first step to keep a lasting relationship. God says to become the “right person,” an imitator of God, mimic God's tenderness, compassion, and forgiveness. Hollywood tells the world to find the right person, fall in love, fix all of your hopes and dreams with the other person, make sure they come through for you, and it things do not work, throw it all away and start the process all over again. God tells us that we have to walk in His love without games, manipulation, or power-plays. We should seek God in our relationships. We need to beg God to make us like Him so we do not see just the holes in the other person's character and what we, as humans, think they should live up to. Hard times are expected and when they happen, simply repeat God's steps one, two, and three. When relationships grow through the bad times, that is when Christ is present.

It is important to remember that God has a special plan for each of his creations and we should not rush into relationships just because there is a flush of emotion. When someone enters into a relationship with another person, he needs to remember to keep God as the focal point. It is important to truly know the other person on various levels. Seeing the other person on a spiritual level is very important. If he or she does not love Jesus Christ, that is immediately a sign to stay away. Knowing the values, lifestyle, and commitment that the other person towards Jesus shows the health of his or her soul. Observing the other person on social setting without pairing off alone lets you have a chance to see how they act and especially treat their family. Knowing the other persons psychological mind lets you see his or her dreams, gifts, and ambitions in life. Understanding the emotions of the other person show the physical commitment of in their life towards things that are important to them as well as what they can give to you. When relationships are followed with God in mind, they work.

*Source: Chip Ingram in his series Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships

From the Mouths of Babes...

How Do You Decide Who To Marry?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're goingto marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later whoyou're stuck with.
- Kirsten, age 10

What is the Right Age To Get Married?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to getmarried.
- Freddie, age 6

How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to beyelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

What Do Your Think Your Mom and Dad Have In Common?

Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8

What Do Most People Do On A Date?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get toknow each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and thatusually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10

What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all thenewspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9

When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?

When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want tomess with that.
- Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you shouldmarry them & have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8

Is It Better To Be Single or Married?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys needsomeone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9

How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8

How Would You Make a Marriage Work?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like atruck.
- Ricky, age 10


...Priceless... :)
xoxo,
-H

Rule or Exception?

I recently saw He's Just Not That Into You and overall I thought the plot was good. Some of the scenes were really undesirable and they wouldn't have been my choice, but what can you do...lol. One of the main points that was made was that there are no “Happily Ever Afters.” Those people are just the 'exception.' Most generally everyone is 'the rule.' People who end up as 'the rule' just live day to day and if they end up happy, well...lucky for them....but that's not how the 'normal' people live...I can't, in good conscience, say that I agree with that. People live happy lives all the time. Granted, some people have desires to live better lives with newer clothes, getting paid more at work, getting better grades in school, etc, but are people really unhappy? Maybe they're just selfish. I think people choose whether or not they're going to be happy. If you're always grouchy about what you don't have instead of thinking about what you DO have, well then NATURALLY people aren't going to view their lives as happily ever afters...it's going to be LIVING HELL! :) Now, I understand that what they were talking about in He's Just Not That Into You regarding the rule, the exception, happily ever after, etc isn't a state of mind. They're referring to relationships. I don't know if it's more common for people to be happy or unhappy, but maybe the same thing holds true in this situation. If you're always looking for something better or worse yet, something wrong, well...where does that leave you? You will never be happy because you're gonna be insecure! Who knows if there's an official statistic that says how people end up in the end, but I hope that all my friends have their happy ever after endings and that they remember to look for the silver lining in every situation.

xoxo,
-H

Walking Her Home

Ok, if you're having a bad day...DON'T LISTEN TO THIS SONG! :) It's sure to make you cry, but it's priceless at the same time! It's a great love story. I want someone who will love me when I'm 85 and possibly my "last night" as much as he did the night he "came to call."

Here's a link to the song on YouTube...it's not a music video, but it's the only one with Mark singing...so that's what you get! lol :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzE7QByrLGI

xoxo,
-H

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you'll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground

(Chorus)
He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son

His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he's got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night

(Chorus)

He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out

When they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Why Boys Like Girls

This is a super cute thing I came across in one of my files...I have too many!! lol I love this and agree with most of it...of course there ARE exceptions, but...that's ok...it's still cute!! :) So, here it is...

Why Boys Like Girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"

18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say "I miss you"

24. The way you miss them

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

xoxo,
-H